No. 91 · People · Human Nature and Judgement
Reciprocity
We feel a strong pull to return what we are given, kindness and harm alike.
In the Almanac
“Ethiopia and Mexico”, 1985 · “Pret A Manger”, 2010s
Both stories in full, three ways to use it and where it misleads.
Get the AlmanacQuestions
What is Reciprocity?
Reciprocity is the principle of give and take. When someone does something for us, we feel compelled to return the favor, sometimes decades later. It underpins trust, trade and friendship across cultures, and it can be used to build goodwill or to manufacture obligation.
How do you use Reciprocity?
To use it, give first: share, introduce and help before you need anything. Keep relationships balanced with small, unprompted gestures. And when a salesperson hands you something free before a pitch, ask whether you'd want the product without the gift. Generous, patient reciprocity works best.
When does Reciprocity matter?
Reciprocity is one of the 60 mental models for people, the situations where you ask: Why do people act as they do, and how do I work with them? Within that, it belongs to “Persuading and influencing”, alongside Anchoring, Backfire Effect and Bait and Switch.
What is an example of Reciprocity?
Two stories show it at work: Ethiopia and Mexico (1985) and Pret A Manger (2010s). Both are told in full in The Mental Models Daily Almanac, which has two stories for each of its 365 models.
Which mental models are related to Reciprocity?
Tit for Tat, Trust and Social Proof. Reciprocity itself comes from human nature and judgement.